Rainbow Comet Chapter 20

I fell in love with a comet, an unstoppable force of fire meant to burn across the heavens.

And there’s no way to hold onto a comet.

Brett

“I’m sorry if I caught you off guard,” I say, as Flynn leans against a pillar. He seems stormy today and I’m not sure why, because he was in a good mood earlier. “I just…this is so perfect for us that I never expected it to happen.”

“What do you mean?” Flynn asks, hesitantly.

I grin. “Fate works in mysterious ways.”

“How?” Flynn asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You know I’m in love with you,” I say. “And I know you love me too, I can feel it, Flynn, every time we make love. I’ve been trying to think how to bring it up with my father, but every time, I have no idea how. I don’t want to take a queen. I know I said I would. I know we haven’t talked about it. But I…these feelings are very real, Flynn. Not the kind I could put aside or make second. I don’t want to marry anyone but you.” I meet his eyes, feeling vulnerable when I rarely do. But my feelings are too strong. I can’t avoid this any longer.

I take a step forward, take both of his hands in mind, don’t let him pull away. “I want to propose to you, once we get my father used to it. But he should agree, if it would make me happy. Happiness is the most important power in the universe. What would make me, and I think the fates, happy, is to make you my king.”

Flynn looks shocked, his red eyes widening, the orange there so bright it’s like a sunrise. “We haven’t talked about this before.”

It’s not exactly how I thought he would react.

He has been so possessive, and sometimes so angry about me taking a queen, that I thought he would at least be happy at the thought.

After all, it’s a very strong alliance, to be allied with my kingdom. He would never want for anything.

But then Flynn pulls away from me. “Boreas, I don’t know about all of this.”

My heart feels fissured as I let him pull away and face the windows outside, away from me.

“What we have has been amazing. Heaven, even,” Flynn says. “I’m not sure if it’s love, or if I’ve ever believed in such a thing. If it’s possible for fire fae to love anything but our families, our communities.”

“Flynn, you love me, I know you do. You fight for me. You left your life, even temporarily to come help and guard me. You feed me. You’re just…overthinking things.”

“Am I?” He snaps. “Or are you underthinking them? After all, there are implications for both of our kingdoms. We serve more than just ourselves.”

“Exactly why it’s important to be happy!” I shout back. “Because that will give us the most power to protect the worthy in the galaxy.”

“There is something else, Boreas. I just had a call with my mother.”

“Oh,” I say. He has never spoken of her before. Of his family. He doesn’t seem very close to them, other than checking in to see if they need battle support. His mother seems to be a very strong queen who needs no help ruling, from what I have heard at diplomatic meetings from others in his kingdom in the past.

“What did she say?” I want to ask how she would feel about us, but I know better than that now. Flynn seems closed off.

“She reminded me of my duties, which are no less important than yours,” Flynn says. “I too must choose a queen to marry.”

“But why?” I ask. “You won’t be happy. I don’t think we should give into these demands from either of our kingdoms. And no queen could have my resources. I could give you more than anyone else. You know that.” I give a little jiggle. “And I’m your type, on top of that.”

Flynn freezes at that, and his pink tongue darts out to lick at his lower lip.

Gods, I want to kiss him. And carry him away to my palace. And mate him. And make things better for every gay warrior in the galaxy by lending them my alignment by making him mine forever.

A gay alignment, after so many years. Imagine.

Not that everyone has to be gay to align with us. Just like gays have aligned with straights on many issues for years.

You just have to not hate gay people, not have hurt them without restitution or in a serious way, and support them being equal to yourself.

Not so much to ask, I think. And my father always taught me that alignments should be changing, evolving, if the universe is not to be lost.

“Still, there are expectations from my people,” I say. “Now that I’m not with Callie, my mother wants me to take a queen. Set an example.”

“An example of homophobia?” I ask. “An example of putting yourself second for those who don’t accept you for who you are?”

He frowns, and I can tell he is thinking about it.

“Because that’s all that is,” I say. “Even my insistence before that I marry a queen. I see what is is now, and it’s not good. It’s not good, Flynn. It’s telling every warrior out there who loves other warriors, even is willing to die for them, like I would for you, that his love isn’t good enough. Straight people are already protected. Gay people need our help. They are being eaten, because so many are willing to other and turn their backs on them.”

“So says Moonbow,” Flynn says bitterly.

“And me!” I say. “In my run as Robyn, I saw violent homophobia, based in religion. Gay children were killing themselves. Being gelded or turned into women. And all children are a blessing to the universe. Being gay isn’t something they can change. It is something they were born with. Science has proven it is genetic for a very long time.”

“Not all genes manifest.”

“These do! They are like the gene for being straight. Have you ever been able to see a straight person changing themselves to being gay?”

“No,” he admits.

“Then how could a gay person change themselves to being straight?”

Flynn looks like he knows I’m right, but isn’t quite ready to say it. I wonder how much trauma he must have in that direction, to be so stubborn, when he knows how we both feel.

How our energy seems to light up the entire galaxy.

He’s still standing there stubbornly, and I walk forward, pulling him into my arms. He leans in, letting out a little sigh of happiness that fills my heart. “You couldn’t be happy like that. I know you couldn’t,” I say softly. “And happiness is the most powerful thing in the universe.”

“I don’t know about that,” Flynn says. “Maybe happiness is powerful, but maybe raw power also is.” He looks to the side, resting his head on my shoulder. But his body is tight, and chaos is faintly emanating from him.

“What did she say, Flynn? To make you hardened like this.”

He’s quiet. “She said if I wasn’t with a queen, what am I doing here? She implied you were using me. Or racist. And…she said if I was just playing around with you, then I would be doing something ‘dishonorable’.”

I pull back, shocked by the cruelty of those words. “Flynn, you are the most honorable fae I know. Are you going to let such words throw you, when it’s clearly about someone else’s limitations and not your actions or abilities? You ruled the entire fae kingdom, outside of the vale. And I think you are worthy to rule there too. But not if you could let anyone make you feel like this.”

“But she’s my mother!”

“A true mother loves unconditionally. If she loves you, and who couldn’t, then she needs to stretch her morals and her heart to grow around who you are.”

He nods slowly. “It makes sense in thought, but in practice?”

“I know it’s terrifying,” I say, cupping his face. “But we can’t compromise who we are for those who can’t accept us. What should you give up next, your fierce fight for justice? Your brave heart that protects all? You can’t just disown part of your soul and not suffer for it.” I lean forward, bringing my lips close to hover over his, feeling him hold his breath in anticipation of my kiss. Our feelings are so strong, how can anything be wrong about this? Maybe love is the most powerful thing in the universe after all. “Flynn, your ability to love is so strong, don’t let them cut off half your soul and tell you that is honorable. You know who you are, don’t let someone who should love you decide it. Love yourself, show yourself, and let them decide where to stand.”

He pushes forward then, warmed by my words, and presses his lips to mine, then shoves his tongue in. His hands wind up in my hair and I wrap mine around his waist.

Wind seems to whip around us, swirling and keeping us close.

The stars seem to align overhead.

After a few moments, after which my soul is truly shaken to the core, like it always is when I kiss him, I can feel he’s pulling back again.

But I will be patient for him. Both of us have been on worlds with homophobia, felt the sting of bullying and rejection.

It’s why we both didn’t realize how we felt about other warriors until now.

But I’m not going to go back into the darkness, into a closet.

Not for anyone.

“It has been amazing, Boreas,” he says, putting his hands on my chest, looking like he’s trying to resist squeezing at the fullness there. It always makes me chuckle when he does. “But are we truly allowed to be teenagers while our kingdoms suffer?”

I frown. “How would they suffer? Mine isn’t suffering, we are stronger than ever, thanks to your help with my tanks. And as I said before, you could rule with me here, and give your kingdom anything you wanted. We would be equals.”

Flynn pulls away and faces me, hands on his hips. “And your father would just agree to this? How do you know?”

I rub my head, abashed. “I don’t. But I will be king, and it will be my decision. But don’t you see? Moonbow’s arrival and campaign gives us the perfect opportunity to bring this up gently. He can educate my father on gay rights as a diplomat, and my father will have to listen. Then I have an excuse to bring things up, see how he feels. Then I just sell him on how happy you make me, since he knows happiness is the greatest power…and don’t I make you happy too, Flynn?”

He flushes now, then grins at me rakishly. “That’s not the half of it. You make me mad with want. You make me jealous. You make me enflamed with passion. You undo me.”

“Then let’s go forward, let’s be brave about this.”

“I’m not ready though, at least, not to tell my family yet,” he says. “And I don’t know what I’ll do at the end of this. So many depend on me, Boreas. I’m not ready to be disowned by them.”

My face falls, but I nod. I will always respect his wishes. And if we truly aren’t meant to be together, then I’ll just be happy for these moments we are together. Because he has truly opened my own heart and shown me how happiness can shine like a sunbeam.

“I will always respect what you want, Flynn,” I say softly.

He gives me a wary smile at that, and puts his hands on his hips. “And how can I resist that?” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry things are so complicated. I will try to overcome my internalized homophobia, Brett. And not let others’ homophobia get to me. But as for us being together—“

“I get it, it’s complicated. But I will always see it as a gift. What we’ve had.”

“Thank you,” he says. “Then he takes my hand. “Let’s go back inside.”

My eyes widen. “Will you be touching me, then, in front of the kingdom?”

His eyes shutter. “No, not yet, Brett. I’m sorry. But until we get inside.”

My hand wraps warmly around his. I will wait until he is ready. After all, he was so afraid at first. He has already come so far. “Till we get inside then.”

I squeeze his hand three times and he looks at me puzzlingly.

“Don’t worry about it,” I say, and we head in.

I fell in love with a comet, an unstoppable force of fire meant to burn across the heavens.

And there’s no way to hold onto a comet.

I’ll just have to enjoy the burn of his light every moment he is in my sky.